When Judy Lynn died, it was amazing the love and support that we received from everyone, and the love we got from people we did not even know. There were people that showed up at my house, bringing food, supplies, cards, flowers, and just about anything you can imagine. The day that Judy died, there were hundreds of people that came to see us and her at the hospital. They came and prayed, cried, and just offered support for us. I can just remember bits and pieces of that day, and since she actually died at my hospital, in my unit, with my friends taking care of her, I have been able to put the pieces together little by little. My brain is very analytical, and I am detail oriented. I had to understand everything that happened from the beginning, and I have been blessed with friends that have been able to help fill in the blanks.
At PMH, we have what they call, child-life specialists. They are there for not only the patients, but especially for the families of children that are in the hospital. I could go on forever about what they do, but for me, they have been my friends, and many times my therapists. They helped our family during our most difficult times, and continue to support us. Several friends at work were having a hard time with Judy's death, and the child life specialists helped them too. I found out that they had "debriefing" sessions with my coworkers after she died. I have no idea what they talked about, but I do know that they helped my coworkers deal with her death too. When a child dies, we make quilt squares. These pieces of fabric are decorated however you like, with pictures, words, or even embroidery. We have the opportunity to make something for that child's family expressing what we loved about them. It is a great expression of love, and gives us a bit of closure. The child life specialists collected tons of squares made by my coworkers, and then put them together in a quilt form. Judy's quilt was absolutely beautiful, and I was very grateful to have received it.
They also facilitated letters from my friends at work and collected them to bring to our family. They came one day and brought them over in this pink wooden box with brown polka dots. Inside there were many personal letters written to our family offering beautiful words of encouragement, how Judy touched them, and their promise of prayers. I was unable to read the letters until months and months after Judy died. I put the cards that we received in the mail, the cards from the flower arrangements, and any cards/letters we got in sympathy.
I started to write my thank you cards just shortly after Judy died, and sent many out. I sealed up a bunch and never gave them out, and there were many that I never even wrote. I stuck my big bag of undone tasks in the back of my closet along with many papers that I have not wanted to look at. I heard that when a loved one dies, you have 6 months to a year to write your thank you cards, and when we reached 6 months, I was in no frame of mind to finish the cards. As time has passed, I hit the year mark, and then I felt ultimate failure that there were so many thank you cards I never sent out.
Today, I opened that bag in my closet and started to go through it. I have decided that I am going to try my best to finish those thank you's. I know I will never send every card that needed to be sent, and I know that I will miss someone that should have gotten a card, but I am going to try again.
Still not ready to read those sympathy letters and cards inside the box, but maybe one day later. But for now, they will have to stay in that little pink wooden box with brown polka dots.
No comments:
Post a Comment